Stop Overthinking in 1 Minute - – My Go-To Mental Reset Trick
Ever find yourself replaying a situation, wishing it had gone differently?
Like... really overthinking it?
Ruminating. Spinning. Trying to make sense of something that already happened.
This happened to me recently, and I want to share not just the story—but the powerful tool I used to stop the spiral and get my mind back.
If you’ve already read my email or are in the loop right now and want help fast, click play below for the quick do-along video.
Otherwise, read on for a story about how I recently got stuck —and how I got out (the video is included again at the end).
The Story:
I spent most of June super excited about a year-long program I was planning to join.
Like, day-dreaming-in-the-shower excited.
Waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night excited.
Already-anticipating-the-life-changing-results excited.
I was excited before I knew the price.
Then shocked and overwhelmed.
Then figured out how to make it work—and got excited all over again.
I’d cleared my calendar. Turned down other opportunities.
Told friends and clients how impactful it was going to be.
In my mind, I’d already said yes.
There was just one last step.
Because it was such a big investment—time, money, energy—I wanted my partner to be onboard. She had some questions, so I asked the program leader if she’d be open to a quick call with both of us.
What happened on that call?
Ugh.
It was awful.
Like, “beyond even the worst-case-scenario-I-catastrophized” awful.
The leader—who had been friendly and warm with me 1-on-1, showed up cold.
Dismissive. Defensive.
She wouldn’t explain the program unless we asked hyper-specific questions.
And even then, she seemed annoyed by how we asked them.
She acted like it was strange that I brought my partner.
Then implied we were having a “marital dispute.”
Then said it was rude to involve her at all.
(Sarah and I were literally sitting on the couch—knees touching, both of us wide-eyed and confused.)
I raised my hands and said, “Woah woah—I think we’ve got a misunderstanding…”
But it only got worse.
She stopped addressing Sarah completely and started speaking only to me.
Told me I already knew the “right” decision.
Repeated that she wasn’t trying to sell me...
But implied that if I didn’t sign up, it was because my partner was holding me back.
🚩🚩🚩
Cue the spiral.
I still wanted to want it.
I started replaying everything:
– Maybe we weren’t warm enough at the start.
– Maybe my email wasn’t clear.
– Maybe I was making it a bigger deal than it was.
But deep down, I knew:
I couldn’t be in a program where my partner was ignored that way.
And I couldn’t trust someone to guide deep healing who clearly had a whoooole lot of work to do on theirs.
So I made the decision: I wasn’t doing it.
...and then I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The Overthinking Loop:
For hours, my brain kept running the same track:
💭 What we should’ve said
💭 How she could’ve responded
💭 Whether I should reach out
💭 What to do with all the emotion
This used to be a daily experience for me—looping on past situations, trying to fix them mentally.
But this time, I caught it.
It wasn’t worth my time.
So I used a favorite tool I teach my clients... and I let it go.
Well, for a little while. 😅🧠🎢
Interrupting the Spiral:
I got focused enough to knock out some solid work.
Later that evening, the thoughts came back while I was headed to the climbing gym—so I did the technique again.
And I had a really fun climbing session with a friend.
(Did we talk about it? Yes. Was it the whole night? Nope.)
The next day, the guilt was gone. I wasn’t picking apart my words or Sarah’s tone.
Instead, my brain switched to a different track:
What should I say to make her understand? How do I fix this person?
That’s when I recognized the voice behind the wheel:
Ahh. There’s my Controller.
I was tempted to keep trying.
But instead, I used the technique again.
And let it go.
🧘♀️ The “Tense & Accept” Reset Technique
It’s simple. Surprisingly effective. And just weird enough that it works.
Here’s how you do it:
1. Think about the thing you can’t stop thinking about. (Counterintuitive? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely)
That moment. That conversation. That decision you keep replaying.
2. Tense your whole body.
Your toes. Your fists. Your jaw. Your shoulders.
Let yourself feel the tension, the grief, the anger—whatever’s there.
3. Hold it for about 30 seconds.
While you do so, describe the emotion and the situation with whatever words come to mind (out loud or in your head).
4. Then exhale and release it all.
Let the tension go from your body. From your breath. From your face.
And say:
“I accept.”
This isn’t about pretending it’s fine. It’s not about moving on from it forever.
It’s about letting your body interrupt the spiral your brain’s stuck in, and allowing yourself to move on from it… for now.
🎥 Want to try it with me? Click here to watch the quick video
Want the even shorter version to use again and again?
👉 Click here for the 1-minute version with just the technique.
Ready to stop spiraling?
If your brain’s been in overdrive and you’re ready to feel like yourself again, I can help.
You can book a Self-Sabotage Awareness Session and we’ll explore what’s keeping you stuck—and what life could look like without it.
